The COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic has left the world scared, worried and deeply stressed out. However, our world today is full of anxiety on a normal basis, so the heightened worry is a level many people don’t know how to handle. But there are ways to reduce your anxiety, even during this terrible event – eating more vegetables, greens, and fruits; exercise; medication; prayer; fun hobbies; proper sleep habits.
We feel anxiety for many reasons – lack of confidence in the subject matter or specific situation we are facing, previously perceived failures, upbringing, or even one really traumatic experience. The reality is that almost everyone second guesses themselves. The problem comes when you walk away from a discussion or situation replaying the scene over and over in your mind, beating yourself up about saying the wrong thing or making a poor decision. The anxiety comes because of the repeated visits to what is now a past experience.
People cannot hear you thinking unless you let them: Those who second guess can hear themselves loud and clear, but no one else does unless you show it. As long as you aren’t saying it out loud, no one else probably is even thinking about what you said or did once it is over. Unless you say it out loud you are the only one questioning what happened.
You are going to make mistakes, say things you regret. The truth is most decisions are irreversible. But you can learn from it and move on. Stop pressing rewind on the conversation or decision. Remember that you cannot know everything and no one says or does the right thing every time.
When you are about to say something, pause and ask yourself how what you are going to say matches to your values. If it doesn’t disagree with your values, then follow your instinct. Later on, if you find yourself evaluating what happened, remind yourself that it’s already in the past and refocus on how you might handle that particular situation in the future instead of wasting time focusing on what you can’t change.
If your anxiety results from what other people say or do, it’s still the same outcome. You can’t change the past. It’s done and most likely, you are the only one worrying about what happened. Do you think the other person(s) are still replaying the same conversation over in their mind?
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is generally an unwarranted fear about something that didn’t happen yet or a perceived negative experience at a future event. Most people are fearful of public speaking, but they feel immense relief once they complete the speech or presentation. It is in learning how to anticipate the feeling of relief and knowing that nothing horrible is going to happen before, during or after the event.
Even when anxiety is warranted, it’s still a useless emotion. Holding on to anxiety simply causes you to be more likely to make a mistake, speak incorrectly, or otherwise result in making your worst fears a reality.
Anxiety can also occur after an event. This type of anxiety is generally caused by self-doubt and has no real value to you. It is exacerbated by replaying the recording in your head and looking for what you or someone else did “wrong.” The truth is, as mentioned above, you are probably the only one reliving the event. Learning how to turn off the broken record is key to reducing your anxiety and can be a game-changer for someone who deals with this issue on a chronic basis. You have to rewrite the script in your head that causes this repeated behavior.
Exercise
This exercise is an initial low-level anxiety trigger reducer. What does that mean? It teaches you how to reframe your fear, which is often based on past experiences or your imagined future experience.
Pre-Anxiety
- Sit or lie down in a comfortable and quiet location (if possible).
- Close your eyes.
- Take a deep breath in and hold it as long as you can.
- Repeat two or three times.
- Now, imagine you are about to enter the scenario that you are feeling anxious about. See yourself in the location or on the stage or with a group of people. Feel the anxiety. Rate it on a scale from 1 (mild) to 10 (severe).
- Next, visualize yourself performing or speaking or in the situation that is causing your anxiety.
- Finally, see yourself completing the scenario. Focus on how you feel after it is over. Sit with this feeling for a few minutes. Really step into this moment. Do you feel your anxiety lessening?
- Repeat this exercise as many times as you have to until you feel calm. Focus on the feeling of relief.
- You can use this exercise prior to any anxiety-promoting event or even do it daily, imagining your day from start to finish. The key is to consider, what is the worst thing that can happen? You fall or say something wrong during a speech? You share incorrect information during a conversation? The worst thing that can happen is truly not severe, and once it is over, you know your anxiety resolves immediately.
Post-Anxiety (second-guessing a something you said or did)
- Sit or lie down in a comfortable and quiet location (if possible).
- Close your eyes.
- Take a deep breath in and hold it as long as you can.
- Repeat two or three times.
- Now, replay the scenario in your mind. Imagine everything with full detail. Visualize your awareness leaving your body and seeing yourself from a short distance, close enough to hear and see what is happening.
Observe the situation objectively. Have compassion for the person speaking or doing something (you). Do you see yourself relaxing and your anxiety lessening? Do any of the other people look bothered or upset about what you said or did? What would you say to yourself that would make a difference?
o Now, feel your awareness going back into your body, bringing that compassion and sense of calm with you. Do you notice a difference in how you feel? What was the worst thing that could happen as a result of what you said or did?
The above exercises are ways you can change your perspective and therefore learn to release anxiety over daily or common scenarios you might experience. A life coach can work with you one on one to walk you through these and other more in-depth exercises to reduce chronic or severe anxiety.
The biggest secret in resolving anxiety disorders is to retrain your brain to focus on the end result versus the anxiety-inducing experience. When you learn to focus in that way, your body and mind naturally manage the fear of the pending experience or the possible result of an experience in a positive way. Once you get your head wrapped around the idea that the worst thing that can happen does not warrant the stress you are putting on your emotional and physical state is unnecessary, you will begin to experience less anxiety.
