8 Jul

3 Steps for Overcoming Procrastination – A Millennial’s Guide

By Sergio Cortes In Happiness, Sergio Cortes / 1 No Comments

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

For many years, experts have been trying to understand the psychology behind procrastination, ready to combat it with strategies on one hand and the ability to execute on the other. The painful reality of procrastination is that it derails us from our work and ultimately weakens our ability to make a powerful impact.

Our approach to procrastination should be like a lion chasing a gazelle – without excuses. Often our greatest challenge is taking on the hardest and most important tasks of the day. Though our time is limited and so is our energy, it pays to focus on the items that give us the biggest productivity boosts throughout the day.

So how can you stop procrastinating and start to overcome it?

The Obstacle

Pies Steel, a human resources professor at the University of Calgary’s Haskayne School of Business, stated that 95% of the population procrastinates at times with 20% being chronic offenders. With twenty percent of the population identifying themselves as procrastinators, for some it’s a lifestyle they’ve committed themselves to, at least for an unknown specified period of their life. But what effect does procrastination have on our lifestyle? One of the many symptoms of procrastination is that it takes away from the life we could be living. Students might miss out on academic achievements because of playing video games, watching television, or oversleeping. This could be the result of a deep-seated issue like low self-esteem, fear of success or failure, or perhaps an environment not suited for proper motivation.

Killing the Giants

We are designed to keep between five and nine ideas in our head at once, but it’s natural with all the information around us each day that we tend to want to retain it all. This creates the fierce overwhelming sensation of stress.
Procrastination never works, and daydreaming about convenience never creates actual convenience. When you get to the time that you think is convenient, guess what? You’ll have other things to do and other things that interest you. People who are highly successful have disciplined themselves and have conquered the habit of procrastination. They understand the power of executing their tasks daily.

So, how does one stop the procrastination? You do it. In fact, that is the first step. Write down all your tasks, priorities, and everything else you must do for the next week.

Turning Discipline into Actionable Steps

Just like a business executive organizes his or her files into categories, each file with a designated name and subcategories under each folder to make sense of where everything is to effectively produce the outcome they desire, you must know the order of your list of things to do for the week and what items belong under each category or folder. Organizing your list allows you to know the order in which you are going to accomplish your tasks. Always remember to limit the number of items under each category. This will help you keep track and avoid overwhelm.
Always focus on the benefits that follow the completion of a specific task. What would be the reward for completing the task? Why is it important?

Is your closet messy? Are your dishes dirty? Are you behind at work or in school? Just imagine what it would be like knowing that the tasks have been completed. Take a moment to be as detailed as possible. How does it feel? What are you seeing, hearing, and smelling?

This is called future pacing. The idea of visually stepping into the future accomplished, giving you the motivation to proceed in the present.

4 Jun

Negative People – 5 Ways to Make a Positive Impact

By Sergio Cortes In Happiness, Sergio Cortes / 1 No Comments

Some people never seem to get past their pessimism – while others crave the desire to change. For some, being negative is a terrible habit to break, leading them down a road full of broken relationships, failed aspirations, and a sense of inadequacy, only to constantly blame others for their negative outlook on life.

Here are 5 ways to make a positive impact on a negative person.

1. Choose Empathy

While most people don’t feel positive 100% of the time, there are tactics that elevate a cheerful attitude. You can instill the love and compassion they crave. Perhaps they are overwhelmed with pressure from friends, family, or work; maybe they’ve been fired and have kids to take care of or lack the stability they’ve sought after for months, years, or decades. Nothing will leverage a positive attitude like when you allow them to feel understood because everyone wants it, but not everyone receives it. Choose empathy.

2. Choose to Listen

There are those who look to others they trust for advice and support. To the individual who is engulfed in a negative spirit – the last thing they want is advice, but rather the opportunity to be heard during moments of frustration. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion proverbs 18:2. Often, the negative person may not necessarily be speaking words of truth, but rather speak to things that have not been thoroughly analyzed or thought through. Choose to listen despite your opinion. There is a time to speak and a time to listen.

3. Choose Encouragement

Propelling the potential in others is a discipline, adding value to those in need is a small start to a large outcome. Seasoned leaders do this with grace, humility, and a desire to bring out the best in others, regardless of their circumstances. What are they passionate about? What brings them to life? What empowers them to live with a smile? Being negative does not mean that they are hopeless, it is simply an opportunity for you to find common ground and work your way up from there. Choose encouragement.

4. Choose to Observe their Nonverbals

Though a side-effect of negative people is complaining, there is in fact much more being revealed and communicated if you observe their body language intently. Sometimes during those dark and frustrated seasons, people often resolve to negative self-talk or destructive behavior as a means to be reminded by others of their worthiness. Choosing to observe their nonverbals can give you key insights into their true emotions, thus giving you the opportunity to have a stronger, more trustworthy relationship with them.

5. Choose Empowerment Through Joy

Those living a life of negativity understand the strain on their life and the impact on their relationships. Getting someone to go out and experience activities that elicit happiness and excitement are the best cures for a nagging mind. We often experience emotions through our body, which is why doing something completely out of their ordinary might be the flame needed to change their thinking. Do they love sports? Take them to a sports game. Do they love concerts, arts, and museums? Go show them a good time. Choose empowerment through joy.

9 May

How to Stop Worrying: 3 Steps to Joy and Happiness

By Sergio Cortes In Anxiety, Happiness, Life Coaching / 1 No Comments

When life presses the pause button on our progress, the natural tendency is to worry. Among the many circumstances we face, we often worry about our health, finances, and our relationships. As unrealistic as worrying can sometimes be – it is one of the most common symptoms we face. But will worrying today create the certainty you crave the following day? Research suggests that half the worrying we do is in anticipation of a negative future outcome. Our relationship to worrying is often reflected in our ability to solve problems.

Do you ever find yourself caught up in your own worrying? If you want to stop worrying and embrace a solution, you have to understand the core of your worrying. Generally speaking, we can agree, without a doubt, that worrying is a waste of time. Though the solution isn’t always what we would expect, we can trust that there is hope for the future. Just like a diamond is forged through immense heat and pressure, so must we go through a similar process to grow beyond our expectations. This is how our character is formed. The road has no easy path, but coming to terms with reality is the first step to recovery.

At a certain point in our lives, we come to the realization that we have little control over the events in our lives, but we can learn to change our perception – that alone can change everything. Jesus often spoke about worrying, the things we are most devoted are what we worry about. If we’re devoted to health, we will inevitably worry about it. If we are devoted to our finances, we will inevitably worry about it. If we are devoted to our relationships, we will inevitably worry about it. Though these things are important, depending on the individual – the list could be endless.

What if you could shift the meaning you assign each experience? How could that change your life? Imagine, if instead of feeling anxious, you felt peace.

Here are the top three things people worry about most:

Your Future, Your Money

The stresses of finances can be a heavy burden; whether worrying about debt, fear you won’t have enough to cover your next monthly bill, worried about your retirement, or raising your kids – indeed, feeling financially insecure can impact your stress level greatly. Chronic worrying can eventually take huge leaps in your life, causing major anxiety and severely impacting your self-esteem.

Suzanne Woolley from Bloomberg writes, “In 2017, 34 percent of workers said their current financial worries negatively affects their lives, compared with just 21 percent in 2015.” It seems America is more concerned each year. So, what is the solution? Gain leverage by getting a handle on your financial situation and create a realistic plan that results in sound budgeting. More often than not, it is when we sit down to create a plan that we realize the situation was not as big, to begin with.

Your Life, Your Health

Most people don’t know Moses as an insecure individual. We know him as a leader. A man who empowered the oppressed with a staff on one hand and a heart committed to achieving the impossible. When Moses decided to flee Egypt for fear of being killed, his worrying took a toll on him. Many decades went by before he could see and understand his own mortality. I wonder if he feared whether or not he would eat, where he would sleep, or what the next step of his life looked like.

It is not uncommon to worry about our health or the health of the people we love. In fact, some worry is not necessarily a bad thing. To a certain extent, worrying may propel us to eat a healthy diet and exercise. Too much worrying though, can cause turmoil, setbacks, and anxiety. I sometimes wonder if Moses feared for his health. The Bible called him an anxious man with self-esteem issues. Fearing or worrying about your health can cause serious physical and mental conditions.

Though difficult to do, realizing and accepting that death is inevitable is an important part of life. When Moses accepted his mortality, only then was he able to live a joyful productive life despite his circumstances. When we realize that the events of life are often out of our control, we can do our best to live for the present while preparing for the future – encouraged that tomorrow will bring new opportunities.

Your Relationships, Your Impact

If there is one common subject throughout the bible it is a theme of restoration. God wants to restore our relationship with him and our relationship with others. In fact, our relationship with the people around us is a reflection of our relationship with God. Communicating through our problems is often the solution to a fulfilling relationship. If you’re single, the worry may be finding the right partner. If you’re in a relationship, the worry may be where the future will take you or will the bond last. We all worry. That’s because relationships play a key role in our joy. Your relationship with your boss will affect your productivity, your relationship with your family will affect your relationship with others, your relationship with your friends will affect your happiness. Relationships are important, which is why you are reading this today.

The solution? Whether you were wronged or someone has wronged you, take the initiative to communicate through the problem effectively, blame lies on both sides of the coin. We are each responsible for our thoughts, actions, and especially our happiness. We may not have control of how people react to us, but we certainly have control of how we react to them. Loving those who have hurt us is incredibly difficult to do, but it is often how we grow and mature. The road has no easy path but coming to terms with reality is the first step to recovery.